The Most Important Thing I’ve Learned in My First Year as a Mom

My daughter turns one on Monday, and my first year as a mom has taught me a lot: patience, unconditional love, more patience, how to safely operate a motor vehicle while sleep deprived, even more patience, and may-jah multitasking skills. There is one thing, though, one important fact I've learned to take to heart. It's the most important thing I have learned in Mommyhood: Year One.

Here it is: I AM NOT REQUIRED TO BE PERFECT. I am my child's mother, and I know what's best for her. I raise her to the best of my ability, and that is enough. That's MORE than enough. I am not required to be perfect. You are not required to be perfect.

It's okay if we don't have the most expensive clothes or a huge modern house. It's okay if I sleep in one Saturday. It's okay if I don't use cloth diapers. It's okay if I leave the house without makeup. It's okay if I can't hand-make all my daughter's baby food. It's okay that we formula-fed Dolly. It's okay that I didn't lose all my baby weight two weeks after delivery and that I still have stretch marks. It's okay.

It's all okay because I love her and I am doing the best I can. That's what matters.

We get so bogged down in these trivial Mommywars that we lose sight of that. What does dividing ourselves accomplish? I see women throwing ridiculous amounts of shade at each other on social media every day. And why? What greater good do you expect to accomplish for passive-aggressively insulting a mom who doesn't buy all organic produce for her family? And what good does it do you when you take that insult to heart?

I may not be perfect, but I'm her mom--that's what matters.

You can log on to Pinterest right now and see immaculate houses, intricately planned and prepared clean-eating meals, detailed sensory play schedules for the kids, page after page of Thinspo and things that tell you to look this way, loose that weight, and remember that if you can't pull off all the above flawlessly, you fail as a mother.

That's BS, y'all. You do what's right for you and your kids. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE PERFECT. All you have to do is love your babies and care for them. Be the best momma you can be, but please, please, PLEASE, don't lose faith in yourself over trivial things.

And don't be that snarky chick who feels the need to hate on another mom. Hold your tongue; I don't want to hear it. When my kid is having a DEFCON ZERO meltdown, I'm putting her in the Pack-N-Play and letting her watch some 'Calliou.' I think it's super that your kids never watch TV, but this is what's working for me know--so help a sister out and DON'T JUDGE.

I don't think I have to tell you how hard it is to be a woman in today's society. Call me a liberal bra burner if you must, but I'm proud to be a feminist. I want to raise my daughter to think critically and believe that she can achieve anything to which she sets her little mind. I'm talking DOLLY 4 PREZ 2044 here. I think we all feel the same way about our kids. As parents, we have GOT to stop it with the MommyWars. If we ever want to advance ourselves, we have GOT to stop cutting each other down. We've got to stop measuring ourselves and one another to impossibly high ideals of perfection.

Sorry for getting REAL for a second there, but that's how I feel.

If you take ONE thing away from this post, let it be the most important thing I've learned in my first year as a mom: YOU ARE NOT REQUIRED TO BE PERFECT. Be yourself. Love your babies. Love your neighbor. Love yourself. That's it.

You're more than good enough. You're awesome. Internet high-fives for all my Mommies out there today, because we are MORE than good enough--we're awesome. Remember that.